So the wedding and honeymoon have come and gone. I could write a book about the experience, but blogging it all somehow feels strange. (Believe me --I drafted three paragraphs and then deleted it!)
Instead, let me offer two pieces of advice for anyone planning a wedding and honeymoon anytime soon. These are honestly my only two regrets, which is a testament to how wonderful everything was. I'd still never ever want to revisit even a day of the planning. I'm still exhaling in relief from it all being OVER! But all told, it was just right except for these two things. If I could have known these two things, things would have gone from 98% right to 100% right!
1. Don't expect to get to visit, really visit, with your guests. So sad and so disappointing, but turns out it was so true. It was, in hindsight, silly of me to think that I'd get to catch up with friends I almost never see, get good time with the extended family, AND really kick back and relax with the friends we see most often. NONE of that was possible, just given the logistics of having the ceremony, doing the necessary photos (and we minimized this as much as possible), eating, and playing host to 130 people with 130 very different schedules and priorities. I know I got to see everyone at least once and get in a quick hello and thank you. But really getting time with people? No way. That bummed me out that day, and it's the one thing looking back that still bums me out. Perhaps it wouldn't have been so troubling had I known this in advance, or remembered being on the other end of dozens of weddings where I never felt troubled by getting only a minute or two with the bride and groom. Honestly, it never occurred to me how busy we'd be or what it's like to NOT be the guest at the wedding. We still loved the day and had a lot of fun, but wow.... not the time to socialize and catch up when you're the bride or groom!
2. Don't plan an active honeymoon! It's not like we did an "Active" active honeymoon, like kayaking or playing Amazing Race. But with 6 days and 5 nights in the Bay Area, and 2-3 different things to do out there, following an intense week and really an intense few months of wedding planning.... we weren't in the mood to be on the move. We still had a great time. A day in Napa, a day in Sonoma, a day in the City, a day driving the Coast, etc. But there were several points where we blew off our ambitions to return to the place we were staying to just sit.... and do nothing else. We didn't understand it in advance, but we can both now totally see the appeal of a "sitting on the beach" honeymoon. The last thing we were in the mood for were more schedules (and we planned them very, very loosely, as in "today we go to San Francisco" or "today we visit wineries in Napa" --for me this is very non-planny), maps, and drives. And we're people who LIKE to take road trips, explore new places as well as old favorites, etc. None of that mattered. We just wanted to loaf!
So those are my two 1% improvements. We honestly couldn't have been happier with the day. (A few photos here!) But it's just like the rest of life, "If only I'd known then what I know now...."
And speaking of now, we're both happily welcoming fall and ready to get back into our real life together..... which is why we got married in the first place.
What's the best pick up line you've ever heard?
Easy: It was "So.... you got any sisters?"
My dad said it to me as a joke at a bar once.
We still laugh about it and mimic my disgusted response: "Dad!"
He's pretty proud of that one.
What are you looking forward to this week?
The wedding!! The festivities begin tomorrow night. I will finally complete and mail off my first batch of job applications. (That alone is a huge hurdle to clear --getting these ready has been so stressful.) Bee gets our rental car (cheaper at the weekly than daily rate so we have it Monday - Monday), and we're going to Green Zebra to celebrate our last night in town and get some private time together, which I think will be VERY difficult to get anytime in the next week.
Tuesday morning we leave town, going straight to downtown GR to apply for our marriage license and run a few little errands.
Wednesday we're assembling the ceremony programs (including deciding HOW we'll assemble them) and running more errands, and then picking up some of John-Patrick's family at the airport.
Thursday nails get done, the first setup happens at San Chez, and I hope to sneak away for some time with a few girlfriends in the evening.
Friday we check into our hotel, I pick up my sister at the airport, we get the dresses, we set up the chairs in the ceremony room, we do more setup in the reception area, and we rehearse at night! Then Sandie and Steve are throwing us a rehearsal party,not for just the wedding party (because there really is none) but for anyone who is in town and wants to celebrate.
Saturday is the wedding day! Mostly I prep and get ready with my mom and sister all day. Ceremony's at 5, cocktails and butler service to follow, then dinner, dancing, and merriment.
Sunday we quickly come back to Chicago to unpack and then repack. One night at home. I can't believe that will be one week from today. Like ALL that crazy stuff will happen within the next week. We will be married in less than a week!!
Then we're gone again Monday - Saturday, to the Bay Area for our honeymoon. A few days in Napa & Sonoma, some great meals, a day in the city, a drive down the coast including to the spot where we got engaged. Then back home and (happily) back to normal life.
Weeee!!!
Any last minute summer plans for the weekend?
We're canning. (Thanks in large part to Pacyna for letting us tap her and the Chevy Malibu 2000 3000 in our quest for jars.)
Bee woke up with canning on the brain, so that's our little summer project this weekend. And it's ideal since we're about to leave town for two weeks.
I'm sure some photos and a blog post will follow.....
What has been your favorite mistake?
Submitted by Runnergirl
Perhaps somehow putting the phone number for McGee's Pest Control in Kansas on our wedding info cards instead of the number for the Amway Grand Hotel, where we had room blocks for our guests. Oops. How the hell did I screw that up? haha No, seriously. Where did I get that number???
What were you afraid of when you were younger that seems silly to you now?
Submitted by wandie
Dogs! I was bitten in the face by a neighbor's dog when I was young, and had to go to the hospital and everything. Combined with the running I'd do out in the country where dogs would regularly charge at me, and I feared and disliked dogs really until college.
Then I didn't run like that anymore, my family got a dog, and I just had a lot more contact with them. Now I don't fear dogs at all --I love them! They're so funny! We saw the silliest bulldog this weekend at our yard sale. He looked kinda like this and moved SO SLOWLY.
Back in May, I created a list of 20 things I wanted to do this summer. I was fresh out of the spring semester, a good 6 weeks away from teaching my summer course, with months of summer stretching ahead of me. Now, school begins again in one week, the wedding is in roughly two, and summer is fading fast. So I thought I'd check in with my list and see about my progress. Original in this font, responses in bold italics:
- Continue to shop for fruits and veggies at Morse Market
as much as humanly possible. Between bikes and not minding the mile
and a half walk each way, it shouldn't be too difficult. The challenge
is to resist the overpriced and fine yet less-awesome produce a stone's
throw away at the Big Chain store. Done. Actually I should credit Bee, who's always happy to run up there while I'm prepping or working on something else. But we're Morse Market junkies by now, and I'd expect we'll stay that way year-round. - Similarly, I'd like to make biking to the Green City Market
a regular staple. Bee is actually the trendsetter for numbers one and
two here, but now that I've seen the good things that come from both of
these places, how can I not place them high on the summer to-do list? Bee has been there, I haven't. I'd still like to go, but honestly the chances are looking slim. We're gone most Saturdays, and when we're here I'm usually up working out or otherwise occupied. Same has been true for Wednesdays. This coming Wednesday I have plans --next best hope for me to get there would be Wednesday September 10.
- Speaking of food, and acknowledging that this blows the budget requirement out the window, I want to go to Green Zebra once this summer. We've only been twice, both times in winter, and I really want to try their summer or spring menu! Will be done. We're going there one week from tonight, partly to accomplish the goal of checking out the late summer menu, partly as a little private celebration before we leave the next day for our wedding.
- One
more food goal: Grill and eat in the park or on the beach regularly!
We've been talking about it all winter and can't wait to get this going. Not done. So much harder than it sounds. Never once has this been practical. I wish we had a porch or a yard --we'd be chowing out there all the time. But choosing the right food and getting the timing and weather and other circumstances right for a haul to the park --hasn't happened and probably won't.
- OK,
on to fitness. I want to stay in shape! My cardio goal is always 250
minutes per week, but I think I need to add weights, etc. And not get
injured. This should be easy, given my schedule. But so far it's been
a little hard to balance, because mornings are so my time to
shine that I want to work out AND get work done in the morning, so it's
sometimes been hard to decide what to do when. Done. Working out keeps me healthy and sane. I didn't hit the 250 minutes every week, but most weeks I did, and when I didn't, I came very close.
- Speaking of
research: So far I've done 13 interviews for my dissertation. Many
were done in about a month's time. While that currently has me
scrambling to catch up on transcription (which is hellishly awful and
boring), it does tell me that I can get a lot done rather quickly if
need be. So, I'll be happy if I have 40 done by the end of the
summer. (The goal had been 50 total, but I'm considering upping it to
75. Wanna be done with data collection at the end of '08. Blah blah
blah.) I'm calling it done. Mostly because I'd remembered setting this goal at 35, and that's what I've done. Given how much time I still have to collect data, even as I begin to write, I feel very good about my progress here, and that's the point.
- Send out a publication. Pffffff Not done, won't be done.
- Outline and/or draft the first two chapters of my dissertation. Create a skeleton for the rest of it. Might get done this week. Really might. And if it doesn't, it will be done within a month. I'm OK with that.
- Now back to more "fun" stuff: Take at least one full day off each week. Guilt free. Pffff. No way. I haven't had a day off in months. Even on days where I don't work on teaching or the dissertation, the wedding stuff takes over. I'll take a break on the honeymoon. And then we'll see what my fall schedule looks like.
- Perhaps
this is cheating since it's already planned, but Bee and I have always
wanted to do more regional traveling, so finally getting to Milwaukee
and Madison is a big to-do! Done. We had a blast. I really liked Milwaukee.
- Museum free days. Nope. Can't imagine it. But I would still like to see the Jeff Koons exhibit at the MCA before it closes.
- Catch a little league game in the park. Nope. Still sounds nice, but not gonna happen.
- See about getting this book club thing going with friends. Nope. Yet another summer where we're all interested... and then it's August.
- Lots of swimming and laying in the sun. I'm going to call this done. I could have gone more. (And in fact I plan to go for a bit today as the weather forecast is mid-80s and sunny.) But I'm satisfied.
- Finish Project 365 on July 1. (CAN'T WAIT TO BE DONE!) DONE!
- Play lots of catch with Bee. Not once. Maybe this fall.
- Have an Apples to Apples party again! Not done. Maybe that's a winter thing.
- Make it to Medium on Guitar Hero Nah. And that's OK. Last few times I played that game made me swimmy and I wasn't feeling it as much. Perhaps we'll take it up again when the weather cools.
- Continue Team ATWM's showings at Ole St. Andrew's Trivia Night Nah. Became exponentially unfun toward the end of the spring. Wasn't worth it on lots and lots of levels. I feel liberated from OSA trivia night. And in fact with good summer options (Moody's, etc) nearby we haven't even been there. Maybe a fall or winter return is in order, but I think I'm done with trivia there. Bleh.
- Oh yeah, and get ready to get married! More than ready! Let's do this. The planning is so much more overwhelming than I'd ever expected, even with all of the amazing help we're getting from family. Our wedding is going to be wonderful, but I am not going to miss the planning.
Reason #465 (and, uh, at times #1) why I love Bee.
That's right. It's homemade pizza weekend.
(Image from Bee's photo stream.) I am so marrying the right man.
So I was poking around the drop-down BBC headlines in Firefox like I usually do today, when I saw an article on Madonna's 50th birthday.
I opened it and had to laugh.
Wow, someone took the time to chart out her life --literally! I'd love to know what the units are, and how whomever made this decided precisely where each "point" would land. The fading red and green arrows are only mildly instructive.
Other musings:
- I like how tags like "sex" and "keeping busy" are not immediately apparent as titles.
- I love that someone had to determine that she started out in the middle and only climbed back there after chart success. What does that say for the rest of us?
- Where's her current marriage? And Alex Rodriguez, for that matter?
- Some unexplained low points in very specific locations.
I have to wonder what my Life Graph would look like. I almost want to make one just for the ridiculousness of it.
(And as an aside, I have about 80 Madonna songs in my head right now. And I can't believe Beautiful Stranger was out 9 years ago.....)
Do you have any crazy superstitions?
There's a certain pair of underwear I no longer wear to Cubs games. So far, so good.
